March 27, 2012
Transition

The person from HRD (Human Resource Department) of the hospital: See, submitting your requirements won’t take too long. *smiles*

Me: *smiles in agreement* 

HRD Person: Okay, then. Call me on April 13, so that you’ll know when you’re going to start.

Suddenly, wild and random thoughts ran through my mind as I said goodbye to the HRD person. I cannot accurately describe my feelings, so I’ll just share about 10% of what I was thinking on my way home.

  • I’m really going to leave my current job in four days. I’m going to leave my students. Nooooo.
  • Will I be able to continue RareJob?
  • I need to find an apartment.
  • Oh my goodness, I’m going live on my own— away from my family AND pay my own bills.
  • Will I manage?
  • This was what I have always wanted, right?
  • Okay, so my salary will be (enter amount here), then, (amount) will be for rent + electricity + water + internet connection.
  • I have to give some money to my parents.
  • I need to save money.
  • Oh my goodness, I HAVE TO TAKE A VACATION before I even start working here.
  • After the three- year contract, shall I continue being a nurse?
  • Which graduate study should I pursue?
  • Will I find my true love here?
  • Will my friends in Marikina miss me? Haha. Will they even notice?
  • I’m an adult. An adult. And I’m scared.
  • BUT, this was what I have always dreamed of since high school: INDEPENDENCE. I didn’t know it would also be scary.
  • Whatever, I can do this. I will most certainly enjoy my life.
  • But I don’t want to leave teaching. 
  • I do hope I get assigned to an intensive care unit. Pleasepleaseplase.

Years from now, I will remember this particular day when I realized that I’m in a transition period. Lukewarm. Bittersweet. Anxious. Excited. Unsure.

I need some background music—any music— that will be perfect for all of those thoughts.

But for now, I’ll worry myself with my last lecture for tomorrow.

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